Friday, October 1, 2010

Gotta love those repubs!

Stereo-King Ron Johnson, who impregnated under-age Stacy Hamilton in a baseball dugout in 1981, claims that global warming is an "unproven" science that shouldn't be used to dictate U.S. policies. "The point is, because we're not certain, because it's not proven, the last thing we should do is penalize our economy."

Johnson, Wisconsin's Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, further said that even if scientists are right, he "isn't sure...we could do anything about it, anyway." Global warming is like rape in that way, the irrascible businessman told the Associated Press. "When it's inevitable, it's best to just lie back and enjoy it. Anyone have any suntan lotion?"

The aging car stereo-maven went on to say that he saw the future of the USA as an opportunity for all Americans to achieve streak-free radiance, while enjoying the benefits of low taxes. "No spray-on tans for our children," he vowed.

No comments:

Post a Comment