Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ron Johnson Explains

Wisconsin Republican Senatorial candidate Ron Johnson, who violated an underage Stacy Hamilton in a baseball dugout in 1981, obtained his job with Stereo World in 1979, a few months after the company received a $75,000 grant from the federal government, in essence subsidizing his employment.

Johnson, known as the Car-Stereo King, ultimately bought the company in later years. He is on record as being staunchly against any kind of federal assistance, and is scrambling to explain his seeming hypocrisy.

When reached for comment earlier tonight, the splenetic speaker sales maven claimed the grant was merely "funny money", originating from the Carter White House's post-"Let's Party" malaise, and didn't really count. "Hamilton Jordan spent more than that on cocaine in 1979," the child-rapist claimed, noting that Stereo World's refusal to spend the entire $75,000 on illegal drugs is the real story. "It woulda been so easy."

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