Friday, December 24, 2010


Had to fire a guy yesterday.

Yeah, I know. Two days before Christmas. Didn't wanta do it—I fucking hated doing it—but I had to. He was a terrible employee. He forced my hand, and it was really the only thing I could do.

Remember in Lonesome Dove, Augustus told the Man-Burner he was the sort it was a "pleasure to hang."

There have, occasionally, been a few that it's been a pleasure to fire. An idiot teenager at the Auburn, WA, Godfather's Pizza comes to mind. I had assumed control of that bloated, corrupt, out-of-control restaurant just a day or two previous. I was in the kitchen, watching her cut a pizza with a pizza knife that hadn't been cleaned since Clinton's first term. She said that she'd prefer I not stand there. I asked her to repeat what she said. She did. I told her she was fired. She said I couldn't fire her (still don't get that one), and I said, Lady, get the hell out of my restaurant before I have a cop drag you out. She pitched a hell of a fit, which was fun, and ended with the Auburn Police escorting her off the premises, and warning her about criminal trespass. So doing, she provided an object lesson for the staff that saved me weeks of time. Must say, didn't mind firing her too awfully much.

Most of the time, though, it's perfectly awful. Like killing someone, in a way, and it takes a hell of a lot out of me. (Doesn't do them a hell of a lot of good either, I realize).

If you're gonna be successful running a business, though, you must have standards. Certain types of personalities are poison. Destructive, to everything you're trying to do. Sometimes—most times, I expect—you even like em, personally. Isn't that fucking awful???



  1. Nick,

    I know how you feel. One time back when I was a pup I was the assistant manager of Dominos Pizza. Now before I became assistant manager I had been a driver and most of the people there were my friends. Now I was the "boss" and the whole dynamic changed; because they were my friends they thought they could get away with things. It was really hard to lay down the law and especially to fire the few people I did. Needless to say the "boss" doesn't make (or keep) to many friends. He really can't, because you have to draw the line and if people don't understand it then there's nothing you can do.

    Hey, thanks for the comment to my comment on Sheila's site. I have to apologize for my bizarre "rant" on kissing. I was having one of "those" days, if you know what I mean. Hopefully Sheila doesn't hold it against me, lol.

    Have a great holiday :)

  2. I gotta say, getting fired from my last job was one of the best things that ever happened in my life--though I should say I have absolutely no idea what the justification was, if there was any--that was one of the most toxic places I've ever worked, and am so glad to have been able to collect unemployment ever since! My only regret was I wasn't going to be there in the trenches for my co-workers, and the fact that they were hiring numb nuts fresh out of culinary school...

  3. btw, you guys gotta go see The King's Speech--amazing film!